Take note…none of the great sages, prophets, and saviors ever became enlightened by being busy. They renounced their worldly possessions, headed out into the desert, sat under trees, and retreated to caves high up in the mountains. They fasted, prayed, and meditated- basically doing nothing for extended periods. In this solitary, inward experience they became one with themselves, nature, God, and ultimately fulfilled.
In contrast, our culture encourages productivity. The more we achieve, the more we are valued even to ourselves. We are always heading towards something -graduation, career, children, children leaving home, retirement, and acquiring more stuff. We were never encouraged to just BE and Be with our be-ness. Therefore a great deal of our society thinks happiness is always beyond the next bend. For example- “When I______________(fill in the blank), I will be happy.
Being a victim of this frame of mind, I started my sheltering in place journey with a “Super- think of all the things I can get DONE!- writing art, gardening, fitness, etc.”. Then I started to go crazy with all these added expectations.
I concluded that productivity is overrated. You get something accomplished and then 3 more things go in the queue. The carrot remains out of reach. What I needed to do was slow down and find a nice cave to curl up in with no paper to write a to do list on. Savoring the moment is where it’s at. It’s likely we won’t get this type of “opportunity” again.
Now I have granted myself a time to go “fallow.” I haven’t gone off the rails, nor am I enlightened, but I have lowered my expectations. Oddly, this takes a bit of mindfulness. Old habits die hard, but overall, I am happier and enjoying the ride alot more…
and it is such a relief!
Small Acts of Rebellion
Not flossing before bed
Saying no to the news
Watching a movie first thing in the morning
Staring off into space
Going braless
Making bad art
Writing bad poetry
Using BAD two times in a row
Being happy
Refusing to give up
Alanna also blogs at One Sweet Earth
Doodle by the author
I’m going back to just making art and not being an artist. Having had the goal for years of being a successful artist, I recently woke up to the fact that indeed, I had arrived. That means I’m good with where I’m at. It’s kind of like where to stop on a painting without overworking it. Once I attained the label of “Artist” it came with art fairs, shows, social media, websites, marketing, basically business. I am NOT a business person and am an introvert on top of it. Looking back I had way more satisfaction when I was just playing around and gifting my work to friends and family. Seeing looks of delight on their faces was payment enough.
profit, fame, status or similar. Now, I’ve come to the conclusion after many years, that for me, fulfillment is in the creative process and the sharing. Monetary gain is just an added bonus. It’s kind of like fishing. It’s great being out in nature no matter what and if you catch a fish- even better.
all that the last few years, it’s felt too sleazy, like dressing in clothes that aren’t me. Do I really need to brand myself? Seriously, I don’t want to fit in a box like Ritz Crackers. Art galleries are there for a reason. They take 50% of sales but they could work on the selling while I could be out hiking.
equation.
skewed forms. I gave up working on the wheel in ceramics shunning symmetry for wonky, sometimes smooshed, handbuilt pieces. The female figure became a lovely opportunity to distort and exaggerate. There are often holes where breasts 
should be, with huge hips & thighs going counter to what our culture celebrates.
When I began teaching (I started late), I changed the Ms. in my name to Mz. Pass. When students questioned that choice I responded that I really liked the letter Z. It was a horribly underused letter of the alphabet and I thought it worked better in this application. That explanation seemed to satisfy their 6th-grade minds.
shoulder, whispering in your ear that your work is not good enough. You need to try harder. You need to do more for it to pass muster. But you’re never quite satisfied and you’re filled with lingering doubt about the value of your work, and worse, yourself. It is the enemy of creativity. When I speak of perfectionism, I am not equating it with the precision required of a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist. This kind of perfectionism does not lead to positive outcomes. It often goes hand in hand with unhappiness & anxiety.
Looking at my work now, one would never know that I am a recovering perfectionist. My artwork is often playful, spontaneous, & made of torn paper or clay forms that have intentionally been altered or misshapen in some way. I gravitate towards the asymmetrical & wonky shapes that you might find in a Dr. Suess book. It’s my private rebellion against perfection. In a roundabout way, I’m rejecting the notion that our bodies must conform to a perfect ideal as celebrated by our culture.
the piece and not a machine.
By Alanna Pass 