“It’s a FOMO thing”, my new 22-year-old teaching teammate responded. I had noticed her phone on top of the copy machine as she was running copies for the day and I asked why she had it always within arm’s reach. “FOMO?” I asked. Close to retirement, I was not literate to millennial buzz words. “Fear of missing out.” She responded, not missing a beat. I remembered that feeling in high school and college but now it meant in a social media sense as well. The whole posting, sharing, liking, commenting, and texting thing was sort of passing me by.
Since that time I have become a smartphone user. For a while, I dipped my big toe in the world of Instagram and Facebook and I text when needed. As an artist, the word is “document, share, share, share, like, like, like”. But being a person easily distracted and easily overstimulated I backed off the social media thing. As a maker who does not have to make a living from my art, now I keep it to a bare minimum. I am not ”branded” so to speak. The trade-off is enjoying being in the moment.
The FOMO thing came back to me in another incarnation two weeks ago when I was at Craiceann, the weeklong bodhran camp I attended in Ireland (see my previous post). After a full day of classes and activities, I was pretty wiped-out. Being an introvert and in my 60s, I need a lot of recharge time and a good night’s sleep. I knew if I went out to catch the great music at the pubs that started at 9 PM and join in I would be a mess for my classes the next morning. It was difficult knowing what fun I was missing out on, especially hearing about it the next day from my new friends. I decided to compromise, making a deal with myself to go out the last evening for some late night fun.
Herein lies the concept of “JOMO,” the joy of missing out (this word was coined some years after FOMO). When we are so involved with FOMO & social connections we miss out on ourselves. We have no time to reflect, breath, savor, & notice. Those nights I stayed in were so lovely. I wrote in my journal, read, took dreamy walks at sunset and went to bed at a decent hour. I have no regrets. The last night I did go out and had great fun out playing in a pub. I rolled into bed at 3 AM exhausted. That was a great memory too but I suffered for it during my two days of travel time back to Oregon and had horrible jet lag after.
I’m glad I respected myself with a JOMO mindset during my holiday, not missing out on my own well-being (with that one exception). Sometimes missing out can offer the greatest gifts.
You missed out on all the music
Yes, but did you see the patterns of clouds dancing overhead?
You missed out on all the fun
Yes, but did you see the swallows dart about in the evening sky?
The spotted horse grazing peacefully in the paddock?
The hush of the summer evening?
The sea breeze blowing through my hair?
The long light of midsummer?
Yes, I’m afraid you missed out.
For the music I didn’t miss out on click here!