Tag: mental health

A Recipe to Cure the Late Winter Blahs

Uncategorized

It was early February when I noticed the symptoms…

fatigue

lack of motivation

low mood

anxiety

getting pudgy

Something felt familiar…my annual nemesis Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD was back, catching me off guard once again.  My pet name for this is Seasonal Defective Disorder.  I first came face to face with SAD during my first year of teaching- along with my first migraine headache (not a good omen).  My classroom was in the basement of the school with only a small rectangular grated window up on ground level. I had virtually no natural light all-day.

I discovered that even on anti-depressants one can fall victim to this syndrome. It’s thought to come about by biochemical changes in the brain brought on by lack of sunlight.  For those of us in northern climates with dark winters and inclement weather SAD can be quite common.  It can also happen any season if you are constantly indoors and deprived of natural light. In this conditions it’s hard to spark joy or feel creative. The good news is there are easy and affordable ways to deal with SAD.  Here are my four go-tos to get back on track within a week or so.

Sit in front of a SAD light every morning for about 15-20 minutes daily. These lights emit full spectrum light like sunlight. Years ago these were big cumbersome boxes that cost several hundred dollars.  Now you can get a little portable unit you can place on a desk at your workplace for about $25.  Here is a link to the one I purchased on Amazon which I like a lot (I get no kickbacks for this recommendation).

Take a lot of vitamin D3.  I recently upped my dose to 15,000 units to get through the rest of the winter.

I take several dandelion capsules a day.  These supply an amazing amount of micronutrients and antioxidants.  Of course, you may eat fresh young dandelion leaves usually in abundant supply in your lawn- at least in mine.

Get outside as much as possible.  There is nothing like fresh air and natural sunlight.  I say that as the rain continues to fall here in Oregon.

If you have found yourself down in the dumps lately for no tangible reason, consider the possibility you might have SAD.  You can try my recipe which is quite noninvasive or see a medical professional.  Whatever path you choose- remember that life is too short to be depressed!  Get the help you need.

PS- My muse has returned. YES!

Sketches by the author

Checkout my other blog about sustainable living at onesweetearth.blog

The Orchard by my House is Gone

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Image by Pixabay

An excavator appears at the hazelnut orchard down at the corner.  It begins to push the orderly rows of nut trees down effortlessly shoving their abused bodies into great piles- a mass grave of sort.  After some acreage of trees is leveled, the towering piles are lit on fire.  The fires burn on into the night, great tepees of combustion throwing sparks and smoke into the sky visible from my kitchen windows.  It takes about 10 days to burn the five acres of trees to ash. 

It was a scene of mass destruction like a battlefield – wisps of smoke dotting the landscape when the fighting was finally completed, the troops in retreat, the dead removed.  All that remains now are tractor tracks crisscrossed in a field of ashen mud.

In the leafy months, the five acres of hazelnut trees offered a dark, cool refuge.  Beneath their crowns, the soil was swept clean like a pioneer cabin dirt floor. Thus the orchard was an ideal place to play in the heat of mid-day.  My young son would ride his bike among the trees while I walked the dogs off-leash. I would play hide-and-go-seek with them. The dogs would experience a moment of panic when they noticed me missing and then gallop back to proudly sniff out my still form hiding behind the trunk of a tree. On moonlit nights the orchard was especially good for spooky walks, the deep shadows creating mysterious passages to explore.

We were trespassing of course.  The property belonged to a farmer who later I was told had the trees removed as they were diseased and well beyond their prime production years. They were his to take whether the neighbors grieved or not.

I sigh.  The trees in that orchard had been steadfast neighbors for going on 30 years of my residence in this house. I miss them just as I miss the once quiet roads and the woodlands that have been cut down for the vineyards that now cover the rolling hills in their place.

Change follows me like a shadow that blocks the sun.  It comes and goes at will through a door with no lock.  The fires of the orchard’s demise still burn in my memory. Sky now meets ground unfettered where the orchard once stood.  The hills in the distance are oddly naked. I light a candle at my table to keep myself steady.

Authors note:  It’s been a time of great change these last few years for all of us.  Covid, climate change, social and political divides have all taken a toll. Then there are the changes we face in our everyday life How do we cope?  I write, meditate, make art, listen to music, and light a candle every evening.

A Road Map for 2022

ARTifacts, The Creative Process, Uncategorized

From my journal. After a few years I’ve realized that the “new abnormal” is the new normal. As if the old normal wasn’t challenging enough! Here are my strategies to navigate this ever changing world, subject to change of course.

Continue reading “A Road Map for 2022” →

Bringing Back the Music

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After 1 ½ years of silence due to the pandemic, music concerts that were canceled are returning so when a friend said “Hey, I have 2 extra tickets to a Jackson Brown/ James Taylor concert -want to go?  Instantly I said “YES!” despite the fact the tickets were almost $140, it was at the huge Moda Center in Portland (I usually avoid large venues), and I would have to attend in a wheelchair due to my knee injury.  Sometimes you just have to seize the moment and go, letting the universe work out the details.  So on a rainy night in October, off the three of us went.

It only took about two chords of “Running on Empty” on the piano and I was transported back to a much younger me, a college student in the mid-1970s in that living room, that turntable, my friends, a more hopeful era infused in musical talent.  Two of my favorite musicians at that time were Jackson Brown and James Taylor, their vinyl albums well worn with use.  Looking back it was a time when I had the world at my feet- the music of the time making it all the more exciting.

I don’t know where the world went wrong since then.  We were the generation of change, peace, and environmental awareness.  I hardly recognize the country I live in now.  Still in that massive venue, thousands of us masked gray-haired Boomers let the music of these great musicians bring us back, and boy did they put on a show, visibly grateful to be doing so.  “In My Mind I’m Going to Carolina, For a Dancer”, all my favorites. Brown and Taylor sounded just as good as they did 45 years ago.

The view from ADA seating

Maybe it’s my imagination or I’m suffering the prejudice of aging but I thought the music of the 60s & 70s was just the best.  Maybe every generation feels their music was but I’ve noticed the younger set actively appreciating this same music.

The attendees of my deep water exercise class at the local pool are all aging boomers. We all look quite inauspicious old gals on the surface but we have colorful histories as young women. The class before Halloween we all “dressed up.”  Our Purple Witch teacher had on a playlist of oldies including “Monster Mash” and other crazy music from our era. As we swished and kicked, we sang and shouted to the music trying to guess the title or the artist of the music to win power bars.  “The Monkeys, Sly and the Family Stone, Loving Spoonful” we yelled out. Memories let loose.  The lifeguards looked on with disbelief at all us old birds having such a good time and one of them took pictures.  (At this age who cares about what people think!)

Music has always saved me but in the last few years, it has been such a refuge.  Turn down the news and turn up the tunes I say.  Welcome back, musicians.  Thanks for making the world a brighter place.

  • scary
  • scarier
Splashing to the oldies. I’m on the left with the crutches…

Notes From A Tripod

ARTifacts, Poetry, Uncategorized

(Another take on my knee injury a couple posts back…)

The doctor reviews my MRI and informs me it’s a wear injury- a polite way of saying you’re getting old. The cartilage in my knee has worn thin from age and a simple turned ankle on a hike tore the meniscus which led to a stress fracture to the head of my femur.   “Stay off your knee for 4 months, non-weight bearing- crutches.  Watch that left hip.  It shows low bone density.  Don’t gain weight.   We’ll go from there.  No surgery, no easy fixes. See you after the first of the year.” Appointment concludes.  Crabby surgeon departs.  I remain in a state of shock.

What the doctor didn’t tell me is how to cope with this loss, this massive change in my life- no walking and no clear path to recovery, no dangling hope. All he sees is the injury and not the humanity surrounding it.  The quick fix laparoscopic surgery I expected disintegrated into months of recovery with no clear resolution.  My world shrinks from a universe to the size of an orange.  Will I get to walk or hike with my friends again?  Will I ever again see the tips of my cross-country skis cut through sparking snow?

Every day humans are faced with diagnoses, injuries, and other nasty things that upend their lives instantly.  It can be a lonely path to navigate.  Every day you’ve got to stave off the demons and keep on going, reframe your life, lower your expectations.  For me being a highly creative person and very goal-oriented, this is a challenge.  My big native plant garden project? – canceled until further notice.  Travel?  I don’t think so. Grocery shopping, housework?  NO. Cook?- barely.  This is my first major injury in six decades of living.  I am such a beginner

After weeks of flapping my wings against my cage, I’ve had to revise my life.

Focus on what I can do…

Get a new doctor (check)

Write

Draw

Read

Watch movies

Sing

Play guitar

Swim

Ride my bike

Get outside

Clean out some drawers

Breathe

Meditate

  • I have to remember to ask for help (hard).
  • I have to permit myself to pamper myself- hire a housekeeper, get a massage, buy audiobooks, get a therapist. (hard) 
  • Be humble- I just ordered a wheelchair as my back aches from weeks of crutches.
  • I have to allow myself some days of just being pathetic even though I know things could be worse. (easy)

I emerged from the doctor’s office that day feeling my mortality diminished

but still, I felt a pulse

and I had to drive home to beat traffic.

Said the tree to the sky

My limb is broken

I will have to find a new way

To dance with the wind

Artwork and poetry by the author

See my other blog on sustainable living at OneSweetEarth.blog

When All Else Fails, Bake a Pie

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It’s late summer and the berries are ripe and the apples are coming on.  My sweetie and I have a tradition of riding our bikes down the road on a summer’s evening when the air is cool and picking enough wild blackberries to make a pie

Now, I am not the best pie baker, and sometimes I have been known to purchase a crust (Trader Joe’s is the best) but this time I dove in and made a gluten-free crust.  We both agreed it was pretty good.  Raymond likes Ice cream on his pie and I prefer yogurt.

Now the thing about eating a fresh-baked pie is that it’s pretty hard to be depressed about the world at large when you’re digging into a warm concoction of sweet berries and crust.  In that moment nothing exists but the pie and the people enjoying it.

Entering pie bliss…

Never baked a pie?  Don’t be intimidated.  Have someone show you how to bake the crust, watch a YouTube video or just buy one.  The fruit part is easy and it must be fresh!

Pie makes people happy. They should serve it at peace negotiations. Sit down at the table and serve the slices to the ones you care about. Serve with coffee, tea, and ice cream, or whipped cream if you prefer. Spread a little joy one pie at a time.

(sketches from my day planner)

Learn about the history of pies by watching this video

The Garden Gazette

Poetry, Uncategorized

This is my alternative news outlet lately…

The Garden Gazette

Off with the news

out to the garden

plenty of good tidings to report there

The red of ripe tomatoes

peeking from a tangle of foliage

zucchini lurking like green submarines

below the surface of splaying leaves

a raspberry to pluck here and there

the green beans are longer than yesterday

maybe tomorrow for dinner?

dangling cucumbers play hide and seek

eluding my grasp

the sunflowers have opened their cheery faces

to the delight of probing bumblebees

the eggplants are ready to pick!

This is a better way to begin one’s day

in the company of bees

to the whirr of hummingbird’s wings

to the gifts of my labors

the earth brings forth

The Mundane That Keeps Me Sane…

ARTifacts, Poetry, Uncategorized

A recent entry from my sometimes rather crazy journal/sketchbook.

Hanging Laundry

Bend, lift, snap, pin

repeat

the basket empties

the lines fill

the mind stills

banners of clothing

undulate with the breath

of a June morning.

images by the author

Also blogging at One Sweet Earth

$16 Coffee

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Today I bought myself a 12 oz package of coffee from our local coffee roaster in town, Caravan coffee. They have hands down the most delicious coffee I have ever tasted but I rarely indulge as I need to stick on a budget. But today after my weekly Tuesday grocery trip bedecked in mask and gloves, instead of going home I turned my car around and headed toward the coffee roasters. I needed a psychological boost, if even a small one, during this craziness that Covid 19 has brought upon us.


I parked the car, headed into the tiny lobby, and selected my blend suggested by the barista. She asked me if I wanted the courtesy cup of coffee that goes with any coffee purchase and I accepted, of course. My purchase total was $16 for the 12 oz. package of coffee, roughly double what I usually spend in the grocery store, but today no matter. There was no inner gasp or eye blink. This was an “I am so worth this and you have been doing such a great job you go girl” moment.


Seated back in my car I sipped my organic, single-origin, recently roasted & fresh from the grinder cup of coffee. I paused, closed my eyes as the rich steaming, liquid infused my tongue with a complexity of flavors that did cartwheels in my head all the way home. If I were a dog I’d have been in a full tail wag..


There is 12 oz. more of this black magic now stored in my cupboard. It’s not a cure for the coronavirus but for $16 it’s a fabulous cure for the Covid blues. Sometimes you just need to reward yourself during tough times. Go do it. You’re worth it.

Also blogging at One Sweet Earth

The Art of Staying Sane

The Creative Process, Uncategorized

IMG_1579I hardly recognize the world we live in.  Even though I attempt to shield myself from too much news, I can’t avoid the tragedies of political chaos, mass shootings, human suffering, cataclysmic storms and forest fires from reaching my ears.  Then there’s climate change. It can cause one to live with low-level anxiety.writing-828911_1920

In order to give myself some level of relief, I have a few strategies.  Writing is my first go to.  The immediacy of pen to paper as a mode of expression is so satisfying.  I may write in my journal, work on a poem or continue to write on a longer essay that I’ve been working on.

Continue reading “The Art of Staying Sane” →